This October, Celebrate You!

This October, Celebrate You!If you’re a new blog reader, welcome! But if you’ve been reading my blog, participating in my free monthly coaching calls, or listening to my podcast, The Military Spouse Show (available on iTunes and Stitcher), then chances are you already have quite a few tools for success at your disposal. Whether you’ve been making vision boards, setting seasonal goals, planning weekly action steps, or all of the above, you’ve likely been seeing meaningful improvements in your health, wealth, and relationships.

In November, we’ll be assessing where we are before planning out our 2018 goals. However, I love to save October for a month of coming up for air and just celebrating being the fabulous person you already are today!

Come Up for Air

As military spouses (and moms), we often put everyone else’s needs before our own. So this October, try to take some ‘me’ time just for yourself. Celebrate who you are with no judgment, no shoulds, and no negative language.

I get that this isn’t always easy, even for me, but it’s as essential for you as it is for those around you. Your loved ones will get so much out of seeing you come up for air, live in the present, and embrace gratitude.

When my kids have a good report card, I take them out for dinner. Or, if one of my children plays in a recital, we celebrate afterward with ice cream. However, like many of us busy spouses, when I accomplish a goal that I set for myself, I often forget to even pat myself on the back. We tend to quickly dismiss our own successes and even use negative language instead of relishing our hard work.

Draw Upon the Power of Positive Language

Recently I told my coach, Amy Cotter, that I was going to start going to the gym again, and she pointed out that I used some negative language when explaining this new goal. Instead of saying, “I’m so proud of myself that I am back into fitness,” I said, “I’m not self-motivated, so I hired a trainer…”

See the subtle difference? The first statement focuses on the positive outcomes of this decision while the second frames a beneficial decision in terms of failure. Noting this distinction, Amy was able to lead me into a moment of reflection together before celebrating the success of finding an awesome trainer whom I can see while my daughter is in her dance class next door.

After all, going to the gym and focusing on my health IS something worth celebrating. Sometimes it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others, such as those moms who get up to run a 10K every morning at 5AM, but this month, I want you to set aside artificial standards and just be in love with where you’re at.

Self-esteem is connected with effort, not outcome, so pat yourself on the back for beginning the journey, no matter how long the road ahead of you may be.

Give Yourself a Pat on the Back

Remember, setting a positive intention and making the effort is worth celebrating. So, as you take a moment to breathe and celebrate you this month, ask yourself:

  • Is there an area of your life where you’re hesitant to just embrace what works for you?
  • Do you find yourself comparing your successes to those of people around you, rather than appreciating your own efforts?
  • Do you need to reframe getting help, seeing it as drawing upon all available resources rather than as a failure?
  • When was the last time you patted yourself on the back for a job well done?

I want you to find something to celebrate, big or small, and just appreciate your growth this month. Take a moment to breathe and relish all of your hard work this year before the busyness of the holidays approach.

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