OMG, I Had Coffee With Ellie Kay!

OMG! I had coffee with Ellie Kay!

Financial guru Ellie Kay has been a long-time mentor of mine—so, I was SUPER excited when she asked me to be a guest on her new podcast, The Money Millhouse (thus the name of this post!). Ellie and her podcast partner, Bethany, invited me to their virtual kitchen to chat about money. I had so much fun connecting with them!

Not only do I love that Ellie Kay is a hardworking entrepreneur who turned her passion into a business—but I’m amazed that she did all of this while raising five children, being a fabulous grandmother, publishing dozens of books, becoming the top expert on financial literacy, excelling as a motivational speaker, and working with the most amazing millennial ever, Bethany Bayless! Plus, she manages it all with grace, making her such a mentor to me as well as a genuine leader in the military spouse community.

I hope that you will take a minute to download our show. I will share a couple of quick highlights, but you really need to give the full episode a listen when you get a chance.

The Business Pre-Nup

During my meeting with Ellie and Bethany, they asked me if it was ever a good idea to go into business with a friend. I loved this question because I’m a big fan of collaboration and I’ve had two businesses with friends. So, I could definitely answer from my own experience!

For me, working with a friend requires a kind of “prenuptial agreement,” the opening of two separate businesses rather than one together such that you file taxes on your own rather than jointly. Creating two partnered businesses rather than establishing a single organization costs slightly more but, in my opinion, is totally worth it. After all, this practice may ease tension for your loved ones while ensuring that both parties have equal skin in the game.

Ellie added that the business prenup also allows both parties to feel like they’re true entrepreneurs. After all, starting a business is a lot of work, so why not enjoy feeling like the one in charge?

The Benefits of Healthy Friendships

We also talked about the benefits of healthy friendships—emphasizing the word “healthy”! Healthy friendships are linked to so many positive things, such as better marriages, improved physical health, and even more fulfilling lives.

In the podcast episode, we discuss a longitudinal study that was done at Harvard where a large group of people was followed for almost 80 years. Researchers found a considerable amount of data that linked physical and mental health to positive friendships.

So, no more feeling guilty when you take a girls’ night out!

I hope military spouses who tune into Ellie’s podcast will let go of self-consciousness surrounding “me time” and realize that a date with the girlfriends is good not only for you but your family as well. After all, these important relationships are linked to healthier marriages, improved health, and the lifting of spirits. In short, healthy friendships are good for you and your loved ones.

Letting Go of Toxic Friendships

Healthy friendships are ones that allow you to just be yourself and both give and take (not just get taken from or take!). They may even allow you to experience “flow”—that happy feeling when time just seems to fly by.

Toxic “friendships,” on the other hand, are draining. They may leave you feeling as if you can’t be your authentic self, that you’re walking on egg shells, and even depleted following the end of an encounter. These negative relationships lead to poor health and more conflict in our marriages, so get rid of people who drain your energy without adding anything positive to your life! Sometimes it’s better to spend time alone than with negative people.

In the podcast, the ladies and I offer a few tips for how to gracefully exit these toxic relationships. However, the first step is just identifying that a relationship isn’t serving you and journaling/meditating on what or who you want in your life instead. Once you set an intention, the rest will come naturally—just knowing that healthy friendships lead to a healthy life is key.

The Power of Perseverance

We wrapped up our discussion with a great takeaway: the concept that relationships (in this case, friendships) require perseverance. Maintaining friendships can take a lot of work, like other relationships in our lives, so they require love. This can be both a combination of loving friends while also loving how you spend your time with them. Doing activities that put you in flow and leave you feeling energized will make maintaining friendships more effortless than spending the same time doing activities that just leave you feeling blah.

If you want to improve your friendships, start by taking my free assessment, judging, on a scale of 1-10, how your friendships meet or fail to meet certain characteristics. Then, think about what a perfect 10 in this area of your life would look like.

Just defining what you want in friendships can help you begin taking baby steps toward healthy relationships. Plus, little actions such as setting better boundaries with people that drain you, reaching out to healthy acquaintances, or putting a movie date down in your calendar can lead to positive outcomes.

Think about motivational speaker and entrepreneur Jim Rohn’s quote, “Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day.” A little bit each day truly goes a long way in our relationships!

Listen to the Full Podcast

Ellie and Bethany’s podcast was a lot of fun! I had no idea what they were going to ask, so I was a bit nervous. These awesome ladies, however, made me feel right at home by pouring me a cup of coffee and naturally guiding our chatter toward money and friendship.

To learn more about our group insights, or just to take part in our fun coffee date, check out The Money Millhouse.

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