Make New Friends, But Keep The Old

Make New Friends, Keep the Old over a top-view of several people holding coffee mugs together to toastSo many of my military spouse clients tell me that they have a lot of demands on their time. They have friends on base, off base, from mom groups, and then are trying to network for their side hustle, sometimes after working their 9-5. There isn’t enough time to accomplish goals and they are doing this all while supporting their spouse who may be deployed. With this undercurrent of stress its so important to surround yourself with the right tribe!! Don’t settle for gossipy moms that get you nowhere, really seek out who you need to surround yourself with in order to be the best version of you that there is. Is Debbie downer moving you closer to your seasonal goal? Are you making time for that professional networking group that you have a gut feeling will move you ahead? Have you given yourself permission to hire a personal trainer to learn a new workout routine or is this the year that you will set up monthly business coaching calls to move you ahead, even if it means canceling lunch with that “friend” that you find on your calendar, but she secretly drains you?

Military spouse clients of mine have told me that they are aware of the theory that we are the sum of the five people they spend the most time with, but they don’t do anything to change who those five people are. I am here to tell you (via this blog post) that you owe yourself the effort. Write down the five people you are spending time with and then if it isn’t the right five, write (in a journal) what that five would ideally look like and that description (clarity) will become your first step towards attracting a more kick-butt tribe.

I always encourage my clients to look at who they are spending time with and assess which friendships are flourishing and which ones need to be placed at an arm’s length. When I meet with clients and we spend a coaching session “cleaning house” and making a road map of the types of people they would like to attract into their lives it really works. And sometimes that means clearing out the old relationships, spending some time alone, and then trusting that you will meet people that fill the void versus settling on second best. Over the next month, go through your contacts while you are sitting at the doctor’s office waiting for an appointment and think about who you might want to reach out to; who would make you jazzed and energized about your next life goal? And who do you need to delete, or at least “be busy” the next time they call?

I have a little exercise that I do with clients and I am going to share it with you today so that you can use these journal prompts to make surrounding yourself with rockstars a new priority! Have fun and PLEASE share some “new tribe success” stories.

Some military spouse success stories are what inspire other spouses, way more than me just sharing the tools. So let other military spouses know how you found the right people to move your professional and personal lives forward!

Start by asking yourself the following questions:

  • Which areas of your life would you like more support in, professional or personal?
  • Are there groups you were involved in previously that brought you joy? What about those groups or activities were so fun and uplifting?
  • What are your passions and hobbies?
  • Are there major changes happening in your life? Would it be helpful to connect with others who are going through similar life events?

Please pass my blog along to other motivated military spouses and be sure to keep in touch with me via my newsletter that offers more one on one life coaching tools.

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