Relationships Archives - The Military Spouse Coach

6 “Shoulds” We Should Let Go Of During The Quarantine

Lots of us are struggling right now. We are re-prioritizing our lives, realizing that our health is number one, and many of us are looking around at the pace in which we were living and doing our best to embrace a simpler versions of our lives. Through taking walks, baking, and coloring with the kids, many of us are realizing that there is a silver lining as we are forced to hit the “life reset” button. However, many women who I speak with are still pushing themselves internally, even as the external pressures let up. These women tell me they are struggling to manage their own stress as they are charged with taking care of others. I get it. I’m trying to oversee my four kids’ online schooling, maneuver life with the hubby at home (my husband’s a teacher) and manage my online business. While I’m grateful to be able to work over phone, it […]

6 Tips for Making Military Marriages Work

Military life is often filled to the brim with stressors, and a military marriage is no easier. This includes anxiety associated with finances, moving, deployment, and even reintegration. And, to put it lightly, none of these factors make a marriage any simpler! However, some military couples combat these life stressors with surefire strategies that allow them to not only survive, but actually thrive in their relationships. From their stories, I’ve created a list of the things that happy couples have told me are key ingredients in their fulfilling partnerships and I’d love to hear from you guys too. As with any goal, we need to define what we want in our marriage. Only then can we focus on the things that are going well. What we focus on grows, so if we can stop focusing on being competitive and instead try to create more intimacy, laughter, and compromise, we’ll begin moving in the right direction. […]

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old

Make New Friends, Keep the Old over a top-view of several people holding coffee mugs together to toast

So many of my military spouse clients tell me that they have a lot of demands on their time. They have friends on base, off base, from mom groups, and then are trying to network for their side hustle, sometimes after working their 9-5. There isn’t enough time to accomplish goals and they are doing this all while supporting their spouse who may be deployed. With this undercurrent of stress its so important to surround yourself with the right tribe!! Don’t settle for gossipy moms that get you nowhere, really seek out who you need to surround yourself with in order to be the best version of you that there is. Is Debbie downer moving you closer to your seasonal goal? Are you making time for that professional networking group that you have a gut feeling will move you ahead? Have you given yourself permission to hire a personal trainer to learn a new workout […]

5 Tips for a Successful Military Marriage – Part 3

Tip #4: Laugh at Your Differences In most military marriages there is a tidier partner, a more frugal partner, a more spontaneous partner, a more health-conscious partner, and so on. Whatever the reason, it truly does seem that opposites somehow attract! However, the more I work with couples, the more I find that it isn’t the differences that divide us, but not respecting those differences. Sometimes, it’s hard to remind ourselves that, just because someone has a different approach or mindset than us doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. I try to help clients learn to laugh at each other’s differences. Lovingly teasing can be fun in a relationship, as well as acknowledging when you’re doing something you know your partner doesn’t approve of. Find a Middle Ground I have a client who is trying to save money and whose husband keeps buying things in bulk and on sale. While these are essential items, like extra […]

5 Tips for a Successful Military Marriage – Part 2

Tip # 2: Make Decisions as a Team The other day, I admit that I was rolling my eyes as a read a military friend’s post on Facebook: “I still get butterflies when I wake up next to my husband, my best friend, soul mate…Happy anniversary!” It just felt so corny and over the top at the time! Looking back, however, I can admit that maybe I was a little jealous because I wasn’t really feeling any of those sentiments toward my husband at the moment. I was actually in the middle of a “discussion” with my husband of eighteen years at the time. While I know that arguing is perfectly normal for all married couples, this particular disagreement reminded me the importance of tip #2 in this series: in a military marriage, it’s important to make important decisions as a team. See Both Sides Recently, I was super excited to tell my husband of […]

5 Tips for a Successful Military Marriage – Part 1

Military life is often filled to the brim with stressors, and a military marriage is no easier. This includes anxiety associated with finances, moving, deployment, and even reintegration into civilian life. And, to put it lightly, none of these factors make a marriage any simpler! However, some military couples combat these life stressors with surefire strategies that allow them to not only survive, but actually thrive in their relationships. From their stories, I’ve created a list of the things that happy couples have told me are key ingredients in their fulfilling partnerships. As with any goal, we need to define what we want in our marriage. Only then can we focus on the things that are going well. What we focus on grows, so if we can stop focusing on being competitive and instead try to create more intimacy, laughter, and compromise, we’ll begin moving in the right direction. Envisioning the Military Marriage We Want […]

Balancing Health, Relationships, and a Career You Love

Oftentimes, I work with clients who are all jazzed about a new work-from-home gig. However, a few months later, they realize that they’re struggling in other areas of their lives. They may be having trouble maintaining friendships, feeling unfulfilled in their marriages, or even letting their health goals lapse. For many of us, it can end up feeling like whenever we take two steps forward with our careers, we then take one step back in another area of our lives. This is natural! Whenever our career roles change, even for the better, it’s common for some chaos to follow. That’s when it’s time to take a deep breath and realize that you are far from alone. When taking on a new career goal, task, or entirely new job, take some time to share with your spouse, friends, and other loved ones that you could use their support as you advance your profession while learning how […]

February Webinar: Create your Relationship Vision Board

This month’s free Community Coaching webinar is all about how to to create a vision for your marriage and other relationships. I really hope that you will join me on this free webinar. I am going to walk you through why having a relationship vision board is different than having a regular vision board and why it is so powerful to create one. This vision board isn’t just about the law of attraction; it’s about setting your mind to focus on the aspects of your relationship that you want to see grow and improve and stop focusing on what you don’t like. It’s about having something to work towards and strive for just like you do with other goals in your life. Its about gaining clarity regarding your priorities and defining what an ideal marriage, home life, and friendships look like. We’ll talk about: how to create the level of intimacy you desire, the type […]