Blog

It’s So Easy To Be You!

I love when clients try and tell me they are just a mom, or only an artist, or just a blogger. I really try and hold back the laughter as I almost scream, “are you kidding me, you are so unique and so cool!” I know I get paid to coach military spouses, but I swear the love is free. I have been coaching for fifteen years and what I am learning is the most important concept that I coach people on is how to learn to be OK being themselves. It sounds so easy but it isn’t. Military Spouses usually call me and want to start working together because they are facing a struggle, feeling unhealthy, struggling to find a portable job, or struggling with a deployment and want support or need advise on how to make their marriage stronger but all of my coaching comes down to learning how to love and accept […]

21 Ways To Declutter Your Life

Join me for a FREE spring webinar on how to declutter your life once and for all. I’ll be talking about the negative impact clutter and how to get super motivated to remove it from your life, one easy step at a time. I have 21 simple decluttering tasks that we will talk through and then I will share and then how to create systems in all 21 areas of your life so that your clutter won’t creep right back. My webinar students from the past years have raved about this course and tell me all the time that they love their clutter free lives and have all said it helps with their health, work, and relationships goals more than any other actions they took. We will talk about: the negative impact of clutter how to create a system in all 21 areas of your life Make sure to mark your calendar and put an […]

Learn to Love Downtime

Many spouses tell me that military life takes up so much energy that there isn’t always time left for leisure. I hear this from so many military spouse moms during deployments, from those who are moving a lot, those who work outside the home, entrepreneurs, and even from seasoned spouses. So what can we do to make sure we take care of ourselves as well as our loved ones? Tip #1: Turn Your Passion Into a Job You Love When we find work that we love, our leisure and work time can overlap and create greater life satisfaction. Consider how you naturally spend your leisure time—these activities offer hints into a career that you’ll find fun and fulfilling. For example, I ask military spouses looking to discover a career passion what games they enjoyed growing up, what sports and activities they did in high school, and what section of the bookstore they’re drawn to. I […]

Balance Goal Setting With Just Being

Each spring I ask my coaching clients to take some time imagining their desired futures before writing down their spring goals. I have them picture an ideal day, what they’re wearing, and where they’re having lunch. I ask them to embrace the feeling of success. Sometimes, traditional goalsetting can feel too structured. So, it’s important to also focus on our inner images of the lives we desire. We might then choose to write down seasonal intentions rather than fleshed out goals. If you’ve had trouble with setting incredibly specific seasonal goals in the past, I suggest trying out this practice of setting intentions in the areas of health, wealth, and relationships instead. Let your imagination drive you! Add Some Pizzazz to Your Future If your goals or intentions are boring, though, you won’t be very motivated to stick with them. I’ve seen perfectly written, measurable, attainable goals sit there with no progress made all season […]

Military Spouses Aim for Success

As the winter melts away, our minds and bodies get ready to spring into action. That makes now a great time to begin moving toward our visions in a way that makes us feel joyful and excited. However, it can be easy to confuse being busy with being productive—so be sure to differentiate between working hard versus working purposefully toward your vision. Imagine a person carrying stones across a lawn. We can tell they’re working hard, right? But we don’t admire that person as much as the person who says they’re carrying stones to build a fence or well. Just doing work, aiming randomly and letting the arrows of our efforts fly, isn’t enough—we’ll end up exhausted without making any progress! Instead, really focus on your goals this month. Take that extra moment to get your aim just right before releasing those arrows toward success. Keep Your Eye on the Target I see so many […]

5 Ways Military Spouses Can Get Stuff (That Isn’t Fun) Done

As a military spouse and a mom of four active kids and an entrepreneur that works with other busy military spouses, there are plenty of non-urgent tasks that don’t make my to do list but still need to get done. I recently spent a whole hour talking to my life coach Amy about how to make myself do these dreaded tasks. For example, I am a creative person so sitting down to do a techy task is boring. I know I need to renew my passports but I don’t have an upcoming trip so it gets put in the later pile. But what if I need to go visit family in Sweden? Or a military spouse invites me to speak on a military base in Germany? Somehow my “someday” pile that isn’t due tomorrow must be taking a mental toll because I felt the need to get some coaching regarding why I put certain tasks […]

Determine Your Ideal Career Even When You Are A Military Spouse

During this month’s coaching webinar, we are going to talk about how to find the ideal career even if you can’t pursue it right now because  you are supporting your military service member. Military life is so hard. Sometimes we give up on a career because we are following our military member, but that doesn’t mean you can’t recreate your ideal work life and still engage in some version of what makes you tick. Is there a version of your ideal career that you can pursue right now, and then position yourself for an amazing career down the road? And even keep your career skills fresh until your spouse retires from the military? I have seen spouses make all kinds of mistakes in my 15 years of career counseling, and I want to help you avoid them. So join me for this free webinar and position yourself for career success! We will talk about: my […]

5 Tips for a Successful Military Marriage – Part 3

Tip #4: Laugh at Your Differences In most military marriages there is a tidier partner, a more frugal partner, a more spontaneous partner, a more health-conscious partner, and so on. Whatever the reason, it truly does seem that opposites somehow attract! However, the more I work with couples, the more I find that it isn’t the differences that divide us, but not respecting those differences. Sometimes, it’s hard to remind ourselves that, just because someone has a different approach or mindset than us doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. I try to help clients learn to laugh at each other’s differences. Lovingly teasing can be fun in a relationship, as well as acknowledging when you’re doing something you know your partner doesn’t approve of. Find a Middle Ground I have a client who is trying to save money and whose husband keeps buying things in bulk and on sale. While these are essential items, like extra […]

5 Tips for a Successful Military Marriage – Part 2

Tip # 2: Make Decisions as a Team The other day, I admit that I was rolling my eyes as a read a military friend’s post on Facebook: “I still get butterflies when I wake up next to my husband, my best friend, soul mate…Happy anniversary!” It just felt so corny and over the top at the time! Looking back, however, I can admit that maybe I was a little jealous because I wasn’t really feeling any of those sentiments toward my husband at the moment. I was actually in the middle of a “discussion” with my husband of eighteen years at the time. While I know that arguing is perfectly normal for all married couples, this particular disagreement reminded me the importance of tip #2 in this series: in a military marriage, it’s important to make important decisions as a team. See Both Sides Recently, I was super excited to tell my husband of […]

5 Tips for a Successful Military Marriage – Part 1

Military life is often filled to the brim with stressors, and a military marriage is no easier. This includes anxiety associated with finances, moving, deployment, and even reintegration into civilian life. And, to put it lightly, none of these factors make a marriage any simpler! However, some military couples combat these life stressors with surefire strategies that allow them to not only survive, but actually thrive in their relationships. From their stories, I’ve created a list of the things that happy couples have told me are key ingredients in their fulfilling partnerships. As with any goal, we need to define what we want in our marriage. Only then can we focus on the things that are going well. What we focus on grows, so if we can stop focusing on being competitive and instead try to create more intimacy, laughter, and compromise, we’ll begin moving in the right direction. Envisioning the Military Marriage We Want […]