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Self Management Versus Time Management

You can’t really manage your time, but you can better manage yourself. This is a new mindset.

The more I learn to love myself, the more I get done, the closer I get to people, and the more money I earn. Its so interconnected so when you are feeling frazzled, step back and brainstorm some ways to manage yourself versus managing time.

If you don’t establish a clear idea of some of the things you want to do during these summer months, the time just seems to fly by and you don’t translate any of your intentions into action.

By deciding to go see the state park, finally checking out that museum in your home town, or getting tickets for the family to see a professional baseball game, you take one step closer to making that goal a reality.

Don’t forget to download my free pintables

To start on this week’s action steps, take out a flowing pen and try to list 5–10 things that you’d like to do by the end of the summer.

New Habits – Create a New You!

There’s something powerful about only allowing things that we love, whether physical or mental, into our lives. By bringing such positivity into our day-to-day experiences, we effectively lift our moods and attract new opportunities toward us.

As summer approaches, it’s important to stay committed to cleaning out the old and inviting in the new. And an easy way to give yourself a little burst of energy is to check off those loose ends on your to-do list: that leaky faucet, those old clothes in the back of your closet, that grill part that you need to order, etc.

Don’t forget to download my free printables!

Piggyback What Is Already Good

You already brush your teeth, so saying your affirmation during teeth brushing is brilliant! Summer is a great time for considering which habits support the lifestyle you desire and reflecting on changes you’ve already made that have proven successful. A great way to make a new habit stick is to tie it to an old one, connecting what still seems like a chore to something that’s already become routine or even enjoyable.

Maybe you’re trying to drink more water. You’ve already committed to carrying a water bottle with you wherever you go, so you just need to add in a decision to drink a full bottle over the course of your commute to work.

Or, maybe you want to eat more vegetables. You’ve already taken some important action steps by allowing yourself to only eat the vegetables that you already enjoy. But now, moving forward, you may decide to chop veggies up and put them in containers every week after taking the garbage out.

In this way, you keep moving forward, bringing your goals closer while simultaneously making your successes last.

Tackle Pesky Tolerations

You know summer is coming and you know you will be able to rest, but its hard to really embrace relaxation when your mind is clouded with little things that you know you want to take care of but you haven’t.

I know for my family, spring is a busy time of year with summer activities so lots of “little things” don’t quite make the daily to do list, but they are building up in the back of my mind. This happens to all of us, we think “well that loose step is a nuisance, but I’ll deal with it later” but then later never comes.

Luckily, there’s an easy solution to tackling tolerations daily: it’s a little exercise that I learned when I was studying at Coach University, and later read about in Cheryl Richardson’s work, called “Zapping the Tolerations.” The idea is to declutter your mind, just like you would a closet or workspace, checking off little “for later” tasks that have accumulated. Often times, these small chores get in the way of bigger, more meaningful ones; by clearing them away, we can start making substantial progress toward our goals.

Summer is a great time to experiment with the concept and spark your overall motivation. It has the similar results to decluttering because checking off little things that are clouding our brains for accomplishing the bigger more meaningful stuff. There is something powerful regarding only having physical and mental things in our lives that we love. It lifts our mood and puts us in the vibration to attract new opportunities. As summer approaches I think its important to stay in the mode of clearing out the old and inviting in the new without just passively letting summer happen. An easy way to give yourself a little burst of energy is to check those loose ends off your list that have been mentally draining you. That leaky faucet, those clothes in the back of your car that you plan to consign, that grill part that you need to order, the socks that have holes in them that need to be thrown out.

Write a list of 5-10 tolerations that you want to tackle before summer starts and ruthlessly go through the list and just get it done. By zapping tolerations lists on a regular basis you allow yourself to let go of small things that are draining you so that you can think of the big things that matter. As a military family, we often have an undercurrent of stress in our lives, potential deployments, feeling too transient, etc. and by getting in the habit of tackling loose ends on a regular basis you start to feel like you have more energy to focus on the other areas in your life like increasing your wealth, work, and relationships.

So give it a try, write down 5-10 things that you are currently tolerating and when you will commit to just zapping this with action. If you are feeling stuck with anything, just focus on how good it will feel to stop thinking about this once and for all. Download my free summer printables

 

What tolerations are your ready to tackle?

Love Your Routines

I often tell clients looking for work that one of the best things they can do is take some quiet time in the morning before anyone else is awake. This practice gives them a little “me time” to sip tea or coffee, journal, read, and just open the window and breathe in some fresh air before the hustle of the day begins.

As difficult as it may be to set up such routines, they eventually become comforting habits, whether it’s giving yourself some personal time in the morning, going for an evening jog, or turning off those electronics and reading for an hour before bedtime. Often, the things that we initially dreaded end up becoming the very parts of our day that we most look forward to.

Fear of Missing Summer

So often I hear, “the summer flew by so fast,” and this happens from having a passive attitude about the time. Taking a moment to really manage yourself versus manage your time makes you feel in control of your summer.

This summer, I don’t want to have that feeling that time slipped away so I am being proactive and using my own free summer printables to put pen to paper and determine what I want. This could be as simple as committing to drinking more water or committing to stretching everyday. I would like to go to the drive in movies with the kids, plant an herb garden, and maybe even go to Tanglewood.

I don’t want any military spouses to suffer from fear of missing summer, so write down what you want to do this summer so you can make it happen. What do you want to add to your summer fun list?

I also like tackling some house projects like finally cleaning out the garage or declutter your closets. I think its so much easier to attract a new job when you have your paperwork in order, and summer is a great time to clear out the old and attract the new. I like taking photos of my kids art and making a shutterfly album or getting a jump start of Christmas cards addresses, or just throwing out all the school papers that I don’t’ really need to keep. By tackling just 8 minutes of clutter a day makes a big dent in things piling up so I often set a timer in my kids rooms and we spend just 8 mins tidying. My yard looks full of toys but if I just set that 8 min timer, the yard looks great. Try it out and let me know if you start seeing improvements in how things are flowing in your life. And its not just big decluttering projects, its often just those pesky tasks that need to be done but don’t make the to do list that make the biggest impact. Organizing your tea might not seem like an energy boost but the next time you make yourself a tea, its such a treat.

What can you spend 8 mins decluttering? Think of ways to hold yourself accountable. I love the whole life challenge because it keeps me accountable to eating healthy, exercising, and sleeping 8 hours, but think of ways that help you keep accountable to your summer goals.

June Teleclass: Avoid F.O.M.S (Fear of Missing Summer)!

Join me and write your fun filled summer bucket list. If you don’t write it down the time will disappear.

We’ve all been there before – as summer approaches, we make all these amazing plans for the summer with our family. We’re gonna take more trips, spend more time play, work on that interal to-do list for growing your business, read that stack of books on the night stand, enjoy life.

Then, all of the sudden, it’s August 15. School starts in two weeks and we haven’t anything from our list. We need to take the kids shopping for school clothes or supplies, there’s $500 in the checking account, and dance registration is next week – and costs $542.

Sound familiar? Then you need this! Sign up for this ecourse and each week you’ll receive a tip and a printable to help you achieve those summer goals and avoid F.O.M.S. (Fear of Missing Summer) when September rolls around.

In this free teleclass (new time) we will discuss how to set simple summer goals and make self care a priority while you still schedule in lots of fun.

This course comes with free printables. Sign up below to get access to them:

Tap Into Your Stronger Self!

Tap Into Your Stronger SelfAfter completing this exercise, you should have a statement of 2-3 sentences that feels super inspiring—it should make you want to take action on your goals! You can act from this new place of confidence and literally start feeling this powerful mission statement working in your life right now. I love this tweak on the act “as if “ advice I have heard in the past because you aren’t “acting” you are tapping into who you really are!! I just love that! Now that you have this document as your personal blueprint, you will begin to attract success effortlessly.

If you feel a bit blasé about your statement, then you may want to check out my free, hour-long teleclass for more support. Or, if you prefer working one on one, consider signing up for a personal coaching session with me. Together, we can get you crystal clear on not only your mission but also your vision and values.

Feel free to leave a comment below regarding any insights or suggestions that you have after completing your personal mission statement.

How to Create a Vision Statement

Many of my clients meet with me and almost instantly identify things in their lives that they’d like to change. They’ll say things like, “I’m sick of being overweight,” “I’m tired of arguing with my spouse,” “I hate my job,” or “My house is filled with clutter!” Feeling unhappy about certain aspects of your life is easy, but what’s often much harder for us is imagining what we’d actually like our lives to look like.

Building a happy, healthy, and successful life isn’t so much about knowing what you hate as it is about recognizing who you want to be. What you want to do with your time? What impact do you want to have on the world? Imagine you are old and looking back on a life well lived—what would this life look like?

Military spouses are already making significant contributions by supporting their service member partners and maintaining the home front, but many haven’t recognized their life visions beyond this pivotal role. By writing a vision statement, a statement of who you want to be, you can really empower yourself as you begin making strides toward improving your health, relationships, work life, and home environment.

While I have discussed vision statements previously, this article will get into the nitty gritty details of how to get your vision statement on paper. This task can be a huge step toward identifying seasonal and longer-term goals.

Imagine Your Ideal Self

When I’ve worked with organizations to develop their vision statements, these businesses tend to conceive of the concept as the way in which the organization will function once its strategic plan has been effectively implemented. If everyone was working at their best, they ask themselves, what would their business look like?

I like to have my clients think about their own visions in the same manner. It’s not just about dreaming of things like designer handbags (although that is totally allowed). It’s also about imagining who you want to become.

So, if you do include a fancy purse in your vision, ask yourself, “what type of person would have this kind of bag?” This analysis will help you take the actions necessary to attract the bag into your life, while leading you closer to your ideal self along the way. A vision is a vivid description of where you want to be ten, five, or even one year from now. The more in-depth the vision, the better!

Look At Your Vision or Create A Seasonal Goal Setting Board

I love spending time with clients and helping them come up with visions because this task forces them to be purposeful about the direction in which their lives are heading. I explain that they can imagine their ideal lifestyles without having to know all the particulars, although a vivid imagination is always helpful! Or write those seasonal health, wealth, and relationship goals on a bulletin board or white board and look at them often. Its not about judging how far you have come (just being a military spouse is GOAL ACCOMPLISHED!) but a friendly reminder that you are making daily decisions that will be in alignment with goals you are attracting in the future. I encourage all of my private clients to make this process graceful, NOT add things to their military lifestyle to do lists. I am a fan of baby steps towards your life vision and invite you to let me be a part of your journey. I love being a cheerleader for your goals and the coaching process is like a mirror so you can see your current self and decide where to go next; I love the process.

Of course, military spouses can’t always decide where they live and they can’t always have their first choices when it comes to employment. But they can dream about their ideal relationships, their health goals, and a meaningful life path beyond their military spouse identities.

Every day I help military spouses find ways to transform their dreams into plans. I have each client start out by creating a vision board: a visual board decorated with images depicting items, people, and ideas related to the people they’d like to become. Even before we talk about finding ideal work and the type of environment in which they will thrive, we just start by imagining these details.

Once my clients have clarified the things they want to attract into their lives by creating vision boards, they are much more likely to take daily action steps toward identifying and accomplishing their goals.

From Vision Board to Vision Statement

Once you’re content that your vision board displays the future you’d like to inhabit, take a few moments to really consider the details. Close your eyes and try to imagine an ideal day in this future. Try to imagine what this future would look, feel, smell, taste, and sound like. Then, write a vision statement based on these images, summarizing the people, things, and concepts that you’d like to bring into your life.

Once you’re done, I suggest taking a photo of your vision boards and vision statements before putting them somewhere highly visible to give yourself a daily reminder of your goals. This affirmation prompts you to make healthy eating choices, focus more on family, and keep working hard.

Let Your Values Guide You Towards Success

Unlike your mission statement or vision statement, a values statement focuses on clarifying your priorities and beliefs. This piece of writing will help you determine the aspects of your life that are most important to you, so that you can prioritize them accordingly as you plan for the future.

While it may be difficult to come up with goals for literally every aspect of your life, this values statement will ensure that you make seasonal and long-term goals for the areas most important to you.

Discover What Matters Most to You

Start your values statement by writing down your top four values, the core principles that guide your decisions in life. Clarifying these ideas can be a great way to help you focus on your most essential personal and professional goals, while also helping to facilitate the decision-making process.

For example, one of my clients listed her top goals as involving achievement, creativity, influencing others, and freedom. So, if she one day gets a call asking her to volunteer at her kids’ school and another asking her to teach a creative writing workshop, she can turn to her values statement to clarify which use of her free time is most important in terms of staying aligned with her priorities.

This client will be able to look at her list and consider how these two opportunities align with her stated goals. She might see the teaching opportunity as offering her an opportunity for achieving more, expressing her creativity, and influencing others, while inhibiting her freedom slightly. In contrast, the volunteership may be an opportunity to get creative and influence others, while offering the same restriction on her freedom. Thus, she may decide that, at least mathematically, the teaching position makes more sense in the long run.

Doing things that align with our values leaves us much more fulfilled. We have infinite opportunities to serve others, so we need to remind ourselves that a lot of good things (such as helping out at your kids’ school) might not really support our ultimate goals. We can still help out and make strides forward, but we should do so in a way that helps us feel more satisfied.

Add Value to Your To Do List

Values clarification also helps with weekly planning. We can look at our “to do” lists and then compare these tasks with our four key priorities. Ask yourself, “do my plans for the week align with my top values?” If you find that certain areas are a bit lacking, you may want to shift your calendar slightly to ensure that your highest priorities are represented.

Try to plan your week out in advance to the best of your ability so that you have time to reflect. Your core values give you a lifestyle lens to use when you consider your plans in terms of relationships, health routines, and work. You will find that, over time, you begin intuitively prioritizing these needs, drawing success toward yourself.

For example, you may begin to notice that you’re surrounding yourself with friends who are intellectually stimulating, creative, and active—people who help you stay in line with values such as remaining mentally engaged, expressing yourself artistically, and staying healthy. While you don’t want your weekly plan to be too structured (don’t forget to include some “me time”), you can still ensure that at least the basic tenets of your life are maintained over time.

Utilize Free Resources

A list of values, otherwise known as a “life map,” is available on my website and free for all mailing list subscribers. This life map will help you if you’re having trouble identifying your core values by asking questions related to different facets of your life.

You may also want to take this great career assessment at elevationsonline.com to help you transition to your ideal job. Their free career assessment quiz has helped many of my clients identify values, skills, and career interests, offering useful insight into this arena.

If you take part in either or both of these tasks and would like some help reviewing your results, shoot me an email. I have had so many military spouse stay-at-home moms and entrepreneurs take these assessments, and I can really vouch for the results!

Align Your Goals With Your Values

We all value different things, so it’s always worth the time to stop and identify what you prioritize most of all. By clarifying our value statements, we can develop clarity in our lives and really align who we are with what we want to accomplish.

I love when clients’ values perfectly align with their goals. When this happens, it seems like their dreams become so much easier to achieve!

May is Military Spouse Appreciation Month

 

I just wanted to take a break from my typical coaching tips blog post and just thank you for your service this month.

Yesterday was Military Spouse Appreciation Day and tomorrow is Mother’s Day so it’s definitely time to stop and celebrate all that we do.

Just being a Military Spouse is something that you should really be proud of because your love and support are what makes our country so strong.

I recognize that Mother’s Day isn’t just about brunches and handmade cards, for some military spouses it’s a difficult day because your spouse isn’t with you, or your family lives far and you can’t see your mom.

Some spouses lost their mom, are going through infertility, or other losses that make the day tough so I am sending those moms an extra tight hug and feeling gratitude that we are all a part of the loving military spouse community.

Sending your all a heartfelt happy Mother’s Day!

I meet so many amazing moms that are working, blogging, raising kids, #2017MilSpoDayLinkUp, running businesses and raising families and I am so impressed with all of us!

How are you guys celebrating Mother’s Day this year?

Spend Time Meditating On Your Ideal Future Self

Spend Time Meditating on Your Ideal Future SelfI love to spend time in the morning journaling about what I want next in my life. A great tool to use when you are gaining clarity on your ideal life is to know your values (a list is available for you in my client area, help yourself) your mission and your vision.

Mission statements are brief declarations that describe how we do things when we are “at our best.” Organizations use these documents to clarify their overall purpose; therefore, different organizational cultures have radically different mission statements.

I like asking my coaching clients to come up with their own mission statements to help them really think about their ideal lives. While my regular readers may note that I’ve discussed this topic previously, I’d like to take this opportunity to delve further into the process of creating one’s mission statement—after all, the task can be a bit daunting for some of us!

Get Your Mission Statement in Writing

Start the process of writing your mission statement by reflecting on your past and choosing five accomplishments of which you are especially proud. Then, consider the habits, actions, and behaviors that led to these particular successes. Ask yourself, “how would I teach these competencies to someone else?”

After you’ve written a sentence or two about teaching others, contemplate your answers. Then, write a few sentences about the insights you’ve realized from this process. Ask yourself, “what does my writing tell me about how I work best?”

Now you have the basic components of your own personal mission statement—this paragraph of “explanations” effectively demonstrates how you best operate! Just make sure to word everything positively so that the paragraph inspires you to keep moving forward.

Embrace Success Gracefully

The best predictor of future performance is past performance. So, by focusing on your past accomplishments, you really set the stage to attract more achievement toward you. Including this important aspect in your mission statement thus allows you to more easily make progress toward reaching both your seasonal and long-term goals regarding health, wealth, and relationships.

Plus, this progress will be made in a way that works best for your individual needs and aptitudes. Once you have completed this assignment and formed the basis of your mission statement, try reading your paragraph out loud.

You may need to tweak it a bit to make the language more positive and personal, but don’t give up. Remember that you can continue changing your mission statement over time so that it best fits your current, shifting needs.

Take Action

Take out a piece of paper and list five personal accomplishments—things of which you are especially proud—in a single sentence each.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

For each item listed above, describe the habits, skills, and abilities that allowed you to succeed. Try to keep each answer to a single sentence, if possible. This brevity will make it easier to turn these ideas into a mission statement in the end.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Combine these last five sentences to create an entire paragraph. You may need to do some editing to ensure that the statement makes sense and is worded in a positive manner but you are nearly there! Cross out any repeated items and rewrite the revised paragraph—this will be your new mission statement, your ‘MO’ in life.